As of late I have experienced an insatiable need to do things for myself. And by for myself, I mean instead of doing it to please others. It feels like a matter of personal power and integrity that is developing inside me. I could feel the need simmering under the surface during my three weeks in Alberta, which resulted in destashing before I even unpacked (which is done now, by the way, all YARN stash fits into my trunk and my small project basket AND is entered into Ravelry along with all of my magazines and books.)

It was by persevering through this sorting that I realized my To Do list and the depth of my commitment to it. Everything in every aspect of my life fits neatly into two broad catagories (simple is good)

  1. Sift through the shit: The stash is a perfect example, I had no idea what I really had in there, and it was mixed up with so much yarn I didn’t even like that is was actually menacing to be in the room with. Sounds OCD. I do feel that unfinished business makes it more challenging to move forward. So I’m going through it: Yarn stash, fleece stash, fabric stash, tools, clothes, books… love it or let it go.
  2. Finish unfinished business: I am sick of having all the things I wish I had done, wish I was good at or delude myself into thinking I do pulling me in all different directions. I feel an intense will to persevere through the beginner stages now with the goal of enjoying the flow of doing: quilting, spinning, tapestry weaving, cello, colourwork, herblore, etc. etc.
  3. Do what I need to do. Simultanious with finishing up old work, I’m noticing a direction toward new work. It feels like this direction is filling the empty space left by all the banished junk, and serves me a lot better.

Latest results? A pair of socks per month, here are my finished August socks.

And the beginning of…

And my first quilt block.

It strikes that this willfulness coincides with Michealmas the season, mentioned here by Magic Onions. Anyone else feeling especially willful?


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